The Importance of Coaching the Person
- Dr. Dawn
- Jan 26, 2022
- 3 min read
When I was a newbie coach, I always thought it was important for me to help fix my client's problems, give them the right answer, and help them achieve their goals. How wrong I was. After undergoing rigorous coach training, I realized that's not what a coach does. And, it was very hard to change my mindset on what my role was as a coach. Humans are naturally taught to approach problems with solutions, answers, and to eliminate suffering. And, many new coaches I train have shared they find it very difficult to move from a "fix it" mindset to "being" a coach. We are used to "coaching the problem and not the person."
The issue with coaching the problem is you never get to the heart of the behavior, thoughts, feelings or values the person has behind their motivation. You miss their "why." What is driving them to pursue a goal? What makes their coaching agenda valuable to them? What does success look like? Helping the client answer these questions is much more impactful than strategizing a goal or giving them advice. Of course, there is a place for both, but coaching the person is much more powerful. It goes deeper and leads to growth and personal development. When we coach the person, we help our clients build resilience, better understand themselves, and problem solve. Moreover, any goals they set, will stick because coaching them instead of their problem creates an understand of why they want to take the next step or evokes awareness around why they are making a specific decision.
How to coach the person?
Focus on the person, not the problem. Also, get out of your head. If you are focused on your response, and listening only to the where the client is struggling or to what is wrong, then you are coaching the problem and not the person.
Focus on the client as a whole person, including their strengths. Remember your client does not need to be fixed--they are not broken. Also remember challenges, uncomfortable experiences, and disappointment have learning opportunities.
Focus on leveraging what the client can learn about themselves through their experiences and acknowledge their successes and skills.
Focus on what the client is saying and not saying. Actively listen to desires, hopes and dreams, and what's going on around them in the environment.
Focus on what the client knows, not what you know. Its great you "know" or have the answer, but remember, you do not know more than the client. Partner with the client and allow them to lead the way on what they want to do.
Never tell the client what to do. If you are telling the client what you think they should or should not do, or sharing your opinion, you are not coaching. You are giving advice and consulting.
Make sure you have a coaching mindset and check how you views, preferences, beliefs, and intentions. Avoid projecting what you want or your life on your client.
Focus your questions around the client's beliefs, values, feelings, motivations, and identify their "why" in pursuing solutions or goals and what success looks like for them.
The more you practice your coaching skills the better you will get at coaching the person. And, the more you will see how your coaching will be more impactful to your client's overall well-being and thriving.
Dr. Dawn C. Reid, ACC (PCC pending)
CEO & Founder
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