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Can We Give Up the Superwoman / Wonder Woman Myth?

Updated: Feb 23

As kid, I loved comic books. I remember my uncle Raymond gave me his priceless collection of over 100 comic books. I mean, he had some limited editions that would probably yield over $60,000 today. Unfortunately I lost them. Well, truthfully, I think my grandmother may have trashed them because she really didn't know their value. That's another blog article for another day. The real story here is the impression these comic books left on me. Like many young girls (and boys or non-binary peeps), I grew up reading comics about Wonder Woman and Superwoman. I remember watching Linda Carter portray Wonder Woman on her weekly series. These female superheroes were powerful. Strong. Capable. They rivaled any person and didn't need to be saved. I idolized what they represented-girl power. Plus, Wonder Woman had an ethnically ambiguous look, so I felt like she was very identifiable to me as a woman of color. As an adult my perception changed. I grew to see Wonder Woman (and Superwoman) with adult eyes, under a cis-male gaze, and discovered she was created with the undertone of SBDM--enough to make "Christian Grey" blush. I began to question my childhood worship of her as the ideal representation of feminine empowerment. Also, I saw the damage these images of fictional female figures did--and still do--to the psyche of women. I realized I didn't like my old perception.



Too many women see the Wonder Woman (brave, bolden, moral warrior, doesn't need a man) or Superwoman (female savior, strong, powerful, can do it all) archetypes as ideal female images to strive towards--personally and professionally. Unfortunately, they can make women feel inferior and guilty if we do not live up to the lore and standards of these fictional females. Truthfully, Wonder Woman, even with her beauty, strength, pretty jewelry and lasso of truth, infers women don't need or even want men. Her superhero attire tells us she wants to be sexy and alluring. Her secret identity, Diana Prince, tells us avoid men at all costs. Superwoman, on the other hand, conveys we are supposed to carry the world on our shoulders, while doing it all with a smile. We must (and should want to) save the world. However, Superwoman has always been in Superman's shadow. While she was just as powerful as he was, could do everything Superman could, even had the same weakness to Kryptonite, she was still a woman--a sidenote. Both characters gave us an illusion of how women should be---everything to everyone, strong and beautiful. Underneath all their powers and badassness, they were still objectified women.

How does this translate for today's women? Listen, I fully get that the narrative has improved. And, I believe that women should have choices and agency over themselves. If you want to be a stay-at-home mom, you should. If you want a career, you should pursue one. I believe in equality and equity for women in the workforce, in the voting booth, and to have control over their own bodies. We are strong and can be beautiful and badass. I do not subscribe to the notion that women who love men are weak or powerless. I don't call myself a feminist, either. I still like my door held open. For me, its about having a choice. The choice to push or not. The choice to be a CEO or not, or to have kids, or not. I love my husband and I WANT him in my life as my equal partner. While I can take care of myself, as a women folk, I do not need to do everything and be everything to everyone. Men are just as capable as women at raising kids, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the house as we are with fixing stuff around the house. The Wonder Woman and Superwoman concepts falsely assumes that women are just as strong as men but are still less than men. We can pay the bills but not truly allowed to run the board room. For example, women only make up 23% of executives worldwide, and women of color even rarer. That's just bananas!


There is also the unspoken rule that we must carry the tasks of taking care of the kids, our elderly parents, our spouses, the community, and manage the home by ourselves, even when we work as many hours as our male counterparts. We must appear strong even when we are worn-out and weak. We must give our all no matter how dog-tired we are. Women who exhibit Wonder Womanism or Superwomanism are praised in society because such women are considered prizes. The Wonder Woman and Superwoman myth would have you believe you are not a woman if you can't do it all.

In addition, these idealized concepts impact women's health. Dr. Bhatia, M.D., discusses the term Superwoman Syndrome in her book Superwoman Rx. In psychology, Superwoman Syndrome refers to a woman who tries to juggle multiple full-time roles and trying to do it all equally well (Pam, 2013). Yet, the book falls slightly short, insofar as Dr. Bhatia infers we can still do everything and multi-task, based on our personality traits and making sure we eat well while working ourselves to death. So, the truth is, there is no such thing as "multi-tasking" for humans. You can only do one thing at a time. When you try to do many things, your cognitive and physical resources become depleted. You become exhausted. Your thinking can get foggy. You become forgetful, short-tempered, and experience anxiety, stress, depression. Sorry Dr. Bhatia, I challenge that small portion of an otherwise great book. Not to mention, trying to be Wonder Woman or Superwoman can lead to physical illnesses such as diabetes, weight gain or weight loss, high-blood pressure, hair loss, and migraines (Lawrence, 2017). This is not to say that you should limit yourself. Yes, you can push beyond your limits. However, this is not the rule, its the exception, when the situation calls for it. The mind nor body are meant to undergo long-term pressure and stress.

My final thoughts--it is not worth it! The legend of Wonder Woman and Superwoman are a myth. Wonder Woman and Superman are fictional characters. They are illusions. We need to let go of the myth and cherish our human selves as we are. Yes, you are strong. Yes, you are beautiful. Yes you can do what you want to the extent you feel necessary. And, yes, you do not need to do it all, or be it all. There is no guilt trip unless you buy a first-class guilty ticket flight in your head. Men are highly-capable as we are with navigating partnership roles, and we must give them kudos for their support. Its ok to love and have masculine energy in your life. And, women are more than capable of running the world, the board room, and any other room in the house--if we so choose. I say, let's bury this myth and stop killing ourselves trying to become an imaginary being.


REFERENCES:




Lawrence, E. (2017). The sneaky ways Superwoman Syndrome can affect your health. Retrieved from https://www.wellandgood.com/good-advice/what-is-superwoman-syndrome/slide/4/ .


Pam, N. (2013). Superwoman syndrome. Retrieved fromPsychologyDictionary.org, https://psychologydictionary.org/superwoman-syndrome.


 

Dr. “Coach Dawn” Reid is the CEO and founder of Reid Ready® Life Coaching, a premiere provider of coaching services, coach training and consulting. As a coach, Dr. Reid helps coaching professionals and leaders thrive! She will partner with you so that you can identify how to find solutions and resources to overcome obstacles that block you from achieving your goals and living your best life. Book your coaching session today to invest in your professional development for tomorrow's success.


Learn how Reid Ready® Life Coaching helps aspiring coaches and coaching professionals within organizations to develop core coaching competencies, implement peer-coaching programs, and create compliance and ethical awareness through policy and protocol coaching. Visit: www.reidreadycoaching.com.

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